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Writing, My Old Friend

How you elude me so. I can never seem to get your attention these days. I try and I try, but you don’t want to sit next to me as you did. Was it something I said? Was it something I have done? Why do you run from me? I know that lately we haven’t been getting along. I have run from you as well. We don’t want to face each other anymore.

I remember the days when I wanted nothing more than to run into your arms filled with ideas and prompts and potential characters. You welcomed me and the feeling of the pen gliding against the page brought about a bond I thought I would never find with anyone or anything else. Do you remember that? I do.

I miss you. I don’t know why we have escaped each other’s grasp. Perhaps it is just me. I’m afraid to feel as intensely as I have recently. The pain of realizing who you are is intense. Having to write about it can be pure torture. You want me to bleed on the page, to see my true self reflected to the world. You want the real me and I, sadly, don’t. I can’t face my own emotional turmoil, dear Writing. It’s too painful.

I don’t know where this leaves us now, two entities hoping and waiting to cling to each other, but both missing their chances. We have become like two planets on separate orbits, seeing each other in passing, but not quite able to connect. Doing so could be catastrophic.

Yet, I need you. You are a part of me and have been for quite some time. You are more than my oldest friend. You are the one that gives me something to dream about. Together, you and I become a little goddess, creating worlds and people and stories that could otherwise never exist. And you need me to put in the legwork for those stories to be told.

I have hope, Writing, you and I will be together in harmony once again. Our story will not end here. Our union twenty-two years ago can’t have been for nothing. I refuse to believe that we are done with each other. This back and forth is just a test for us. We will prevail, you and I. I know it. I believe it. Until then, I won’t run anymore. I won’t be afraid any longer. We deserve each other and I won’t rest until we’re reunited.

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