What is that “something” you are searching for in a mate?
July 8, 2017
What are the qualities you look for in a mate? A relationship should provide you with something. What is that “something” for you? Is it friendship, kindness, intelligence, loyalty, reliability, security, passion, or great looks? The list we construct can be endless, but is it realistic to think we can have it all? Is it possible to find the love of our life, our best friend, have a passionate relationship, and live happily ever after? If we can’t have it all maybe we can find a few of our desired traits. If this is the case, which traits are most important for you? Do you choose a partner for friendship and kindness or a partner for passion and security?
Having your best friend as your partner offers many benefits in the relationship. First, if you are with your best friend, the kindness, loyalty and reliability fall right in line. You know you can depend on them to treat you right and be there for you. Besides, who else would you rather spend time with than your best friend? It is often noted that beauty fades over time, but what about passion in the relationship? Most will say passion plays an important role in a relationship and once it’s gone the relationship is too. If passion is lacking but you have everything else you want, does this end the relationship; do you adjust and keep going? Where do you draw the line between “this is my partner” to now “this is just my best friend?”
Once you choose your partner how do you keep the flame burning and keep your friendship strong? The answer to this question will be different for each couple. However, it is important for both parties to figure out because eventually, it will become a factor that may or may not lead to infidelity. As the years go by, things will change, but always remind each other how much you still love them. It’s easy to let someone know that you are attracted to them without having to be sexual. Remember, it’s the little things in life that mean so much.
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The added challenge of finding a partner is finding a partner who is looking for the same traits you seek. We talk a lot in our blogs about making sure you ask questions, ask many in-depth questions (https://www.amazon.com/dp/B06X94C5T4) when you find someone you think you may want to date. Relationships are difficult enough when you get involved with someone who wants different things than you, making the relationship work can be nearly impossible. You can save yourself a lot of heartache by just asking questions in the beginning. Those traits you agreed on in beginning may change over time so continue asking questions and having open, honest conversations.
What has your experience been with this? Has your flame died? How have you dealt with this? Do you have a routine date night to keep the flame burning? Feel free to leave comments below.
Dear238 Quick Tip: Fundamental differences can’t be changed by the passion in your relationship.