It’s amazing how much of a difference the interaction you have with a person is, when you compare your conversations during, and after a relationship. Since there’s no longer the constant pressure of saying the right things, or to try to impress them, or to keep them happy, interactions seem to be much more care-free.
Here’s some context:
So a few days ago, after I received a post-card from my first ever ex-girlfriend. She does this every trip she goes on, she makes a post on Facebook asking people to fill out a google form if they want post cards, and when she gets there, she fills out every post card and sends it out. It’s an incredibly kind gesture in my opinion.
Even though everyone also got one, I really appreciated that she sent one to me as well, since we did date before, and I don’t remember it ending so well. I decided to reach out and send her a message after receiving it. I thought this would be a good chance for us to start talking again, heck, even eventually become friends.
I remember that when we dated, although I felt free to say whatever to her, I also didn’t want her to think poorly of me. And so I remember watching what I say, making sure I didn’t offend her or make her not like me (It was a high school relationship, and my first one ever. Cut me some slack).
After spending a good while crafting the perfect ‘Hey I know it’s been a few years since we last talked, but hi’ message and sending it, I realized that I was being silly again. There was literally no point in me being anyone else other than who I was, so I should probably start talking like I usually do. I discovered that it’s a whole different dynamic. I didn’t have to treat her like a delicate flower anymore. I could say whatever I thought, and talk to her how I would talk to any one of my other friends.
Although I’m not going to disclose how our conversation went (just for privacy reasons, not like we were arguing immediately again), I have to say that I am extremely glad I did this. I feel that it takes a great deal of maturity, as well as ‘ability to let go’, to behave like this with an ex-girlfriend, and in a way I am really proud of myself. And would you look at that reader, it only took me 4 years to finally grow up!