Cupid Tinder Match #93

My latest story involves a dude I met IN REAL LIFE! What?! People still do that? Insane, I know. I was just as shocked as you. And then not so shocked by the outcome of this interaction. This goes to prove that the clueless dudes don’t only reside online.

Guy In Real Life: So when can i take you out to eat or yu invite me over

Wow. Dang. Presumptuous much? I’ve barely spoken to you and you’re trying to come over? Stranger Danger!

Me: I don’t think I have plans Saturday night yet.

Guy: Ok so Saturday night let’s do dinner and maybe go back to your place cool?

See: Stranger Danger

Me: Oh no, I live with my parents. Not an option.

Guy: Oh ok well you can come over to my house if you don’t mind the drive or we can just get a room how about that?

Uh… get a room? Zuh? Who? What now? Like… for real? Really? Seriously? That couldn’t be a bigger negative, Ghostwriter.

Me: I’m not a casual, hook-up kind of girl.

Guy: No one said that at all and I’m not looking for that either mama

Riiiiiiiiiiiight. How young do you think I am? Because I’m OK with you thinking I’m young enough to fall for that, but really, how stupid do you think I am?

Me: Getting a room kinda implies that.

Guy: So dinner?

Are you fucking kidding me? “No one said anything about hooking up, I merely suggested we rent a room. To play backgammon in.” Because what the fuck else do people do in a hotel room that they can’t do in a restaurant? I shouldn’t be shocked at this and yet I remain shocked at this bullshit.

He never followed up on dinner. Weird!


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