As usual, last night consisted of my usual Monday night routine, of having some dinner, making a drink, and then watching a very depressing romance movie that usually ends with one of the characters dying. I do this because I usually have a really good cry afterwards.
Yesterday was especially painful. I watched ‘P.S. I Love You’, and boy was it sad. I felt relatable to the main character because I have also recently left a relationship, and am in mourning. I ended up taking that idea, and writing a letter to my ex-girlfriend, but not sending it.
I cried so much because since I wasn’t actually sending it to anyone, it felt like I was just telling a confidant. I admitted things that I have been avoiding, and seeing it on the screen actually helped me confront it. I cried to the point where I stopped, since I couldn’t continue anymore. I was full-on bawling, and my suite-mates are in rooms beside mines, sleeping.
When I woke up this morning, I felt relaxed. It felt like I had finally expressed a lot of sad, and painful emotions that have been building up inside. I think that this will make a great coping method because it allows me to be really truthful about everything, and yet not have to worry about anyone seeing it.
I really hope that this will be the thing that picks me back up again. I really want to start moving forward with my life.